Editor’s Note: This story was part of “Outside Outside Lands” — our independent coverage of the Bay Area’s biggest, most expensive music festival of 2024. They wouldn’t give us press passes, so we decided to cover the event ourselves, from beyond its fences.
Want to listen to your favorite artist but don’t have $200-$400 to spare? Don’t worry. We here at SpeakerHead have got you covered. After extensive, on-the-ground research, here are the definitive places to listen to Outside Lands, outside Outside Lands.
Last Place: East Employee Gate
The East Employee Gate boasts an incredible view. A small pond filled with ducks, grass and other such beautiful aquatic birds helps distract from the fact that you couldn’t afford to get into Outside Lands this year. Because it’s out of the way, it’s not tainted by the sounds of thousands of intoxicated hippie festival goers. It’s also quite close to an equine center, offering a chance to glimpse some majestic horses. The only real issue with this place is that, unfortunately, you can’t hear anything. Also, all of the employees will eye-fuck you while you stand around like an idiot.
Fourth Place: VIP Gate
The VIP Gate is honestly not a pleasant place to be. A non-stop flow of cars worth my entire yearly salary at SpeakerHead (just kidding I don’t get paid) seeks to run you over at every turn. It’s loud, congested and honestly has no views worth noting, but I did see a security dog, which was kinda cool. On the bright side, I was able to hear something. Not anything resembling music, but I could tell what it was supposed to be.
Third Place: The Main Gate
Now it’s getting interesting. Walking near the main gate was like wading through a sea of people. Festival goers trying to finish their drinks before the security check sat off to the side. I sat with them. If you enjoy people-watching, this is the place to be. An endless stream of pedestrians poured into the fairground, and an equally endless flow of people seemed to be leaving. Something about it was tranquil, like seeing the very flow of the universe stretched out before me. The constant yin and yang of my life in harmony among the drunk, scantily-clad party-goers. I also couldn’t hear anything. However, people coming out of the fairgrounds were singing, so it was almost like being inside.
Second Place: In the Bushes by the South Gate
The South Gate itself doesn’t have much going for it. A spiral of interlocking fences corralled would be Outside-Landers for what seemed like a mile. Scalpers floated among the crowd, looking for people desperate to sell, and others desperate to buy. Overall a dreary experience. And it would have been just that if I hadn’t spotted a group of people climbing into the bushes. On a whim, I decided to follow them (and risk looking like a serial killer) to see what was up.
What awaited me was worth the risk. A small clearing up a decent-sized hill revealed all of Outside Lands. As if I had planned it, a small tree had fallen over, providing a perfect seat to overlook the whole thing. Unfortunately, it was too perfect. From my perch, I could hear everything, including both stages at once. Each one of my ears was subject to an entirely different concert as the dual stages on both sides of the fairground battled for my attention. Sitting there, I was experiencing double the amount of Outside Lands as the people who had paid to get inside, and all it did was give me a headache. Proof that you can have too much of a good thing.
First Place: Spreckels Lake
After a full day of sneaking around Outside Lands, this place was a paradise. It was beautiful, with ducks landing and taking off over the water. The wind was crisp, and other than some people strolling through the park it was entirely devoid of people. And as I sat down on a park bench something incredible happened. The next band came on stage to begin doing their sound check, and I could hear everything. It was clear as day—like I was actually inside the venue. I had finally found the best place to listen to Outside Lands, outside Outside Lands. It was also the end of the day, and all I could do was beat myself up for not finding it sooner.
Well, there it is. We’ve done all the legwork for you. You now know the best place to listen to Outside Lands for free. Now, you can use all that money you saved to buy drugs or whatever else the kids do these days.
